Man 2 months ago, i got back on a plane and headed 4,000 miles to america to do it all again. for 10 more months i would live out of my suitcase, for 10 more months i would serve churches in any capacity, for 10 more months i would give everything to be Jesus to people. you would think going back would be easier right? wrong, it was harder, so much more harder than i ever imagined.
coming back to do ACE Teams again, i knew it was what God wanted, i knew it where he needed me but the challenges that lay ahead i was not expecting.
Their are a couple of key moments ive had over the last 2 months that i wanna share:
If theirs one thing ive taken from this year over the last 2 months, is that That i can do nothing apart from him, he really is the true vine and i am the branch. When it started this year i remember during the time for Devotion i would literrely spend 45 minuties telling god the same two words over and over "Help me" i didnt know what i was doing leading a team, i knew i couldnt do it alone and that the only way i could was with Gods help.
A month into it i got confident in my own ability and i began to ask God less and less for help and tried to figure it out alone, it became more about me and less about him, thats when things went tough, i started struggling with things, arguments with people startedl, i read my bible less, prayed less, i then Got major back pain and someone came to me and said that God was trying to get my attention, i was in so much pain when i got back to the camp ground that i went and cried and told God he had my attention, God remeinded me of John 15, i can do nothing apart from him, i am just a branch and unless i am connected to him in useless. every morning now i am finding mysself going back to the place where im saying God help me, i cant do this alone.
During the training period of ACE Team's we have the privalidge of travelling to Atlanta GA to help with a leadership conference called Catalyst, 13,000 leaders gather every year to be inspired and challanged to change their areas, and in the evening session, Francis Chan got up to speak and what happend next of those few moments i will remember forever, he got up and said he wanted to go back to basics and talk about the cross, he started talking about how jesus died on the cross, and read some Bible Verses, during this week took communion and then a worship leader Called Aarron Keyes Got up and sand this Song "Not Guilty Anymore" as the words of this song i got overwhelmed with emotion, as i sat thier i began to hear God say to me because of my love for you, because of my love for this world i died so you didnt, and your not guilty anymore, i forgave you, i forgot. those words have stuck with me, it was like a wake up call i needed, i no longer had to worry about my sin, because God forgave.
i know that the past 2 months have been a challange and are strentching me, i know it is all for God, every challange i face in the end will make me a better and stronger in him, im so excited for what is next, i cant wait to see where God is going to take me over the next 8 months, and how he is going to use me.
The Journey has only just begun.......
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